My experience with COVID-19

I consider myself a healthy 56-year-old man. I routinely go to the gym for aerobic exercise, lift weights, routinely do yoga, and take dance classes. I hike, go exploring and camp when weather permits and, in the summer, I regularly canoe and kayak and paddle board. I take pride in being able to physically do what I want. As a massage therapist for almost 20 years, my approach to my practice and life, is one of holistic healthy living. In short, I don’t get sick often. 

And then April 2020 happened; COVID-19 was all the rage. Early in the month I started exhibiting flu-like symptoms. I had been spending a fair amount of time at my girlfriend’s home with her two teenage kids; her daughter also had flu-like symptoms and had been quarantined for two weeks in her room. COVID? Maybe. Testing was reserved for those in need, and a teenager was not in the high-risk category, but we consulted the physician across the street and in the end, she recovered fine and no one else got sick. Then a friend of my girlfriend’s tested positive, then one more, then my girlfriend had a couple of poor days and then I took a turn. 

I’ve had fevers before of course, but not for thirteen consecutive days. While it never got remarkably high, it was persistent - frequent night sweats, low energy, cloudy thinking, the occasional dry cough, and full body achiness were my primary symptoms. Additionally, my back broke out in rash-like hives before moving to my abdomen and chest. It was terribly itchy, and my skin was dry. And did I mention the night sweats? 

The second week was by far the most challenging. I kept expecting to get well any day, but I didn’t. The fever was unrelenting, and it became more erratic. It wasn’t until I recalibrated my expectations, telling myself this could go on for two weeks or longer, that I could ease into being sick and accept that the virus simply had to run its course. It was that week I got tested at the UW; the whole household tested positive that day. 

I read a lot during this time, following COVID news reports and articles. I thought about the fact that many people my age and younger were not only dragging with this virus but getting complications and dying as well. I wouldn’t allow myself to believe that could possibly happen to me, but could I really die from it? I was waiting for respiratory complications, waiting for the dry cough to deepen and to slip further into my lungs. As I waited, I slept, went on walks as I could, received love and support from my girlfriend, friends and family. By the end of the second week, I embraced the fact that whatever was going to happen, would happen. I would either rebound and return to health or suffer from complications and possibly die. 

I had a couple really tough days grappling with this thought, about the potential of getting really sick or dying. By day ten I found some peace around this. I’ve had an amazing life, full of adventure, personal growth and beauty. I’d miss my wonderful 12-year-old daughter, my amazing girlfriend and have to step away from a profession I so love. While all of that would be hard, it’s easier to let go when you are sick. I’ve spent enough time meditating in my life, been on enough meditation retreats, done enough yoga, been to enough sweat lodges and ceremonies, done enough deep bodywork and had enough awesome experiences to know there is an awesome force that we are a part of, bigger than us - we come from it, we live it and we return to it; it’s always there to lean on. Letting go with gratitude will be a privilege when my time is up (at least I say that now).

Finally, grace guided my fever to depart mid-day on day thirteen. I remember hearing the accounts of Tom Hanks and his wife about how long it took them to recover once their symptoms had abated. I can attest to that, it took at least a week for me to feel my essential strength return and for a spring to return to my step!

As I look back, it feels good to have survived COVID-19, in fact I want a merit badge! I want anti-bodies enough to ward off future exposure, at least to this strain. And as I look forward, as I return to work, I won’t be so concerned about catching the virus, or about carrying it around and unknowingly affecting friends, family, and clients. In this time of stress and the unknown, and as a promoter of health and vibrancy, that brings me tremendous ease - that’s my mission after all, bringing ease, health and vitality to whatever and whomever I touch.